Goodbye 2016, Hello 2017

So here we are...it's New Year's Eve 2016.

Ordinarily I would not be at home writing a blog on New Year's Eve, but this New Year's Eve for me is not exactly what I would call "ordinary". I'm home with my dog, Sam (who is now almost 14 months old, by the way) and my sick husband, Steve. Steve has been sick on and off for about a month now with various health issues, but most recently he's been taken down by a nasty bout of sinusitis. It's been two weeks now, but the first week we didn't have a diagnosis, so he's likely been suffering longer than he should have. I should clarify that I'm not writing this as a plea for pity; it's just that I need an outlet to vent all of my feelings, and I figure this blog is as good a place as any. I also realize that there are a lot of people who are way more sick than Steve is and I wish them nothing but the best for the speediest of recoveries. This is just the sickest person that I've ever had to take care of, so it's been a shock to me.

I'll spare you all the details, but just say that after multiple trips to the ER during the Christmas holidays, we finally got the diagnosis of sinusitis (as confirmed by a CT scan). The doctor said it was just a minor case, but Steve would have likely said otherwise, given that he felt like his face was going to explode. We were very fortunate to have my parents here to help us out; especially fortunate to have my Mum here. She was a life saver (taking Sam out for walks, getting groceries, etc.) and I will be forever grateful. Having my Mum and Dad here allowed me to focus on taking care of Steve to the best of my ability and also rest, so I wouldn't get too run down. I don't know what I would have done if they hadn't been here. I know that Sam would not have gotten the attention and exercise that he needed and I would have ended up a complete zombie.

I've always known that I would never make a very good nurse and this past couple of weeks has proved it. I only have so much patience, I'm not very sympathetic and I don't like seeing the people I love suffering. It's especially hard because there is nothing you can do to make them better. All you can do is make sure they take their medications properly and give them your love and support. The hardest part about taking care of Steve and seeing him so sick is probably that I feel like I'm taking care of an 85 year old man. Steve is only 44 and normally a very active and healthy guy, so it's like he's done a complete 180.  Between Christmas Day and today there were 4 different medications that he was taking regularly (antibiotic 3 times a day with food, anti-inflammatory 3 times a day with food, steroid nasal spray every 12 hours and acid reflux medication once a day before food).  The doctor had also prescribed morphine (as needed) for the pain, so that makes 5 medications to keep track of!! The morphine was a real concern for me because I was so worried that Steve would just take it regularly to avoid the pain because he had suffered so much that whole previous week before we knew what was going on. I made my concerns very clear and rationed out the drug. I've actually rationed out each of his drugs each day because it's the only way I know what he's taken. Since his head is so foggy and confused, he has no idea what he's taken when. Thankfully he has only taken the morphine for the first few days and he hasn't taken any yesterday or today. I'm hoping that's a sign that the pain is subsiding a little bit. The antibiotics seem to be taking their sweet time to kick in, which is super frustrating for me (and him, I imagine). The anti-inflammatory is now finished, so we are now down to 3 medications...hooray!

I am normally a pretty stable person and think of myself as almost robot-like. I rarely get emotional about anything (don't cry at movies or weddings, don't get overly excited about much, no PMS nastiness - Steve will back me up on that one), but I've cried more times in the past two weeks than I probably have in the past 10 years. Most of it, I think, is due to sheer frustration and exhaustion. I know that you can't force a person to get healthy and sometimes you just have to wait things out, but man, the waiting is exhausting! That feeling of complete and utter helplessness is absolutely draining. My hat is off to all the health care professionals who spend their days and nights taking care of sick people...you are all amazing and deserve much respect!

Sorry to have been such a Debbie Downer, but like I said, I just needed to vent. I've got a great group of friends and family that have been very supportive and I appreciate every single one of them. I've unloaded my feelings and thoughts on a few of them lately, so I send a special thank you to them (they know who they are). I know that Steve appreciates them and all of their kindness too.

On a more positive note, Sam is doing great and I feel like we really lucked out with him. He's pretty awesome. Those first couple of months of sleepless nights were totally worth it! He had his first Christmas with us and I'm pretty sure he liked it. He got pretty spoiled, so the bar has now been set for next year. I was a little apprehensive about what he'd be like with the Christmas tree and presents, but he just sniffed everything and was totally fine. The decorations are still up with the plan of Steve and I having a Christmas "do-over" once he is back to his normal, healthy self. I've even offered to re-wrap his presents :)

Sam patiently waiting for Santa

That's all for this year. It's now time to take Sam out for a walk and then chill with an evening of NetFlix - currently watching "Grace and Frankie" starring Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin, and I totally recommend it. It's pretty funny, especially when you need an escape from your daily worries and stresses.

I wish you all much health and happiness for 2017.

Puppy Parenting

Sam with "Mr.Crinkles" - his first stuffy. A few days after we brought him home.

Well, we are now the proud parents of a fur baby. We have wanted a dog for years and years and then we finally had things fall into place that would allow us to get one.  The window may have closed on my chances of becoming an actual parent, so I see this as being the next best thing. Not to worry though; we will not be the type of people who actually think their dog is a child and dresses it up in clothes. We may, at some point, get a rain coat for him, but that's just because his natural coat is like a mop and soaks up water like you wouldn't believe!

We've had Sam for just over a month now and he's impressing us more and more each day. Sam is a standard poodle and he is just over 3 months old now. Everyone thinks he's a Labradoodle or Goldendoodle...so much so that we jokingly considered getting a sign for him that says "I'm not a doodle!" Steve works casual as a nurse, so that allowed him to be home most of the time during the first few weeks of us having Sam.

It's funny how you hear people talk about how having a puppy is practice for having a child, but it makes sense to some degree...at least for the first few months. He was very afraid of being alone at night for the first few weeks, so we would take turns sleeping on the couch near his crate in the living room. When we first got Sam he was 9 weeks old and had the bladder control to only last about two hours between pee breaks. This meant that one of us was getting up every two hours each night to let him out to do his business. This whole lack of sleep thing really took it's toll on both of us, but especially on me. I'm not used to going for days/weeks with minimal sleep.  It was exhausting; I've never been so tired for so many consecutive days/weeks in my life! It really affected my appetite (to the point where it was almost non-existent and I had to force myself to eat). I lost enough weight that I became the lightest I've ever been as an adult...I know for some people that might seem like a great side-effect, but for me it's not good. I'll spare you the actual numbers because some people might take offence. I also became so irritable and had very little patience...I don't have much patience at the best of times, so you can imagine what it was like. Anyway, Sam's bladder has improved greatly in the time that we've had him and for the past two nights we didn't have to get up with him at all...he was able to last through the whole night!! Sam has also gotten over his fear of being alone at night; which means we can both sleep in our bed at the same time! Yay!! I have my sanity and appetite back and I'm gradually putting some weight on again.

We started Sam on pee pads, but also introduced him to the concept of going outside. He caught onto this idea very quickly and only used the pee pads for about the first week or two of us having him. We still put them out whenever we leave him at home alone...just in case. He has accidents now and then, but that's to be expected, I think, for at least a little while. Some of those accidents were due to our own mistakes though; we're learning as well. We have learned to take him out to pee/poop shortly before we leave him alone and then take him out again as soon as we get back home. We are still working on some separation anxiety issues, but he's gotten so much better since we first got him. He cries a little bit when we first leave, but then he quiets down fairly soon. It used to be that when we came home we could hear him crying from as soon as we got out of the elevator down the hall, but now we don't hear him until we put our keys in the door to get inside our unit.

Sam was the last puppy of a litter of 5, the second heaviest and the only puppy to have his colouring. All the other puppies in the litter were black, but he is cream. Some recessive gene playing a part there.

We went with a standard poodle for a couple of reasons: they don't shed and they are the second smartest breed. We will not be getting him trimmed to look like one of those Froo-Froo show poodles though with pom-poms on it's feet and at the end of it's tail. There will be no bows in his hair either. In fact, I took him to the groomers today for the first time and I think they did a pretty good job of maintaining his teddy bear look.

Sam after his first haircut

Let me tell you this no-shedding thing is AMAZING! He sat on my lap during the drive back from Coquitlam (where we picked him up) and I was wearing black pants. There was not a single dog hair on me at all. As for the smart factor...we can attest to that too. Steve had him trained to "sit" after us just having him for two days. I have been taking him to puppy classes as well because we're both big believers in having some professional training for any dog. Given that he's going to be quite big when he's full grown (~70lbs or more), we want to make sure that he has the foundation skills and good manners. It's one thing to have a puppy jumping around, and it's another thing to have a large dog jumping around and misbehaving. He's been to two lessons so far and he's doing really well. I'm so proud.

Sam, during his first road trip up to Parksville about a week ago.

Sam is great in the car too. He just lays down on the back seat and doesn't make a sound. He usually doesn't sit up until we get to wherever we're going. It is so nice to have a dog that doesn't get car-sick!

Well, I could probably go on for ages about Sam, but I won't. I'll just end with saying how very happy and lucky we are that we've got such a great dog. He's a real character with tonnes of personality. For anyone looking to get a dog, I recommend a standard poodle...just make sure you're willing to put the time in to training and exercising him/her properly.

One more thing...make sure he/she knows that you're the Alpha dog. After much frustration I've finally got this figured out. Anytime Sam gets a little bit out of line (jumping up, biting, etc) I bare my teeth and growl at him. It seems to work. I read somewhere that mama dogs do that to their puppies to show them who's boss, so I thought I'd give it a go. So far, so good!